SITUATIONS AND SOLUTIONS: Special Occasions

I am the queen of special occasions.

Let me tell you something – there is NOTHING occasional about special occasions.

In my life they are year round, week round and sometimes even day round.

And it all involves food – and copious amounts of it.

So how to deal with it……

Boy I’m really still figuring that one out.

Here are some things to think about whilst grappling with special occasions:

 

• We really believe that food makes the holiday.

• Foods speak of tradition, continuity, celebration and family.

• Eating at special occasion signifies belonging and we all want to belong.

• Have just a wee bite but then the first bite leads to many many more.

• So take a pen and paper and strategize and come up with an approach that works for you to face the special occasions.

Weight last time: 158

Weight this week: 158

Loss/gain: 0

 

SITUATIONS AND SOLUTIONS: The First bite – Trigger Food

I so know what my trigger foods are.

You must too…….

A cup of milk tea with sugar cannot be drunk without something sweet.

A really spicy meal has to end with a luscious dessert.

And my list goes on and on and on as does the eating.

I spin from one food to the other like an out of control top.

The thing is that if I had resisted that “first bite”…things would have halted right there.

I see how I can walk down the aisle of the supermarket, telling myself not to pick up that bag of salt and vinegar chips but somehow it lands in my cart anyway.

And then in the car I say I will not open the bag but again miraculously the waters part and there I am with an empty bag in my hand by the time I reach my front door.

The lesson is – it’s all about resisting that first bite.

Know yourself – know that you CANNOT take that “first bite”.

Stop it then.

Sometimes it’s the only chance we have…….

Here are some of my favorites excerpts from this chapter:

• Many of us have a deep-seated denial when it comes to dealing with snack attacks – what will one lil bite hurt.

• THE FIRST BITE LEADS TO THE BINGE!!

• Some foods simply cannot be eaten safely – these are our trigger foods.

• Use the tools we have on hand – the MP to see the big picture of the day…the journal to help us dismantle every snack attack, the four questions to lead us into healthier eating.

• Sometimes we just have to quickly utter a prayer to help us resist a first bite.

• WE CALL IT COMFORT FOOD BUT HOW COMFORTABLE ARE WE AFTER BINGEING ON IT?

Weight last time: 159

Weight this week: 158

Loss/gain: -1

 

SITUATIONS AND SOLUTIONS: The Snack Attack

I have already talked about the dreaded “snack attack” in my earlier post. Here are some elaborations that I enjoyed reading in Cameron’s book.

• Snack attacks tell us they are harmless.

• They play into our rationalizations.

• Snack attacks come when we are bored or we have a difficult emotion we do not want to face.

• We snack when we are HALT but we also snack when we are joyful, excited – wherever an emotion catches us off guard.

• A snack attack is like a daily mugging – it always catches you by surprise. The next day you feel hung-over exactly as if you had binged on alcohol.

• Sometimes food is what we do INSTEAD of life.

• We not only stuff our feeling, we stuff our actions too. Instead of doing that important task, difficult job on hand, creative step – we eat to prepare ourselves to get to do the job and soon we are so full that the job becomes unreachable and distant.

• Get sober about food.

• Snack attacks are lethal. They add not only to our physical weight but our psychic weight as well.

• Instead of facing the difficult conversations we need to have we turn to the fridge for understanding.

• As the pounds pile up – so do our resentments.

• We leave too many things unsaid even when we are asked, “What’s eating you?”

• Snack attacks are a bar to intimacy. Not just with our mates but our kids, etc.

• Many mothers suffer Snack attacks when their kids come home from school.

• Sloshed from a sugar high the Snack attacks leave us emotionally impaired.

• Life happens in a haze and we disconnect from others and ourselves.

• Sometimes we use food to substitute our needs for intimacy.

• Snack attacks are dietary u-turns – we do well until…

What to do when faced with the Snack Attack

• Instead of acting out we need to take a new healthy action.

• Turn to asking the four questions.

• Turn to our journal and ask what am I not expressing.

• We can also turn to our higher power and pray “please help me now”.

Weight last time: 158

Weight this week: 159

Loss/gain: +1

( I BLAME YOU RULA FOR THIS GAIN)

PART 2: SITUATIONS AND SOLUTIONS – Clean Eating

Let face it guys – we all know what sensible eating is.

We run from diet program to fitness gurus looking for some magic pill to chew on. We keep on running looking for the Holy Grail whilst the truth is that we all know what it is. It’s right here in front of us.

Come on…. fess up…you know exactly what to do to lose weight.

I do not believe that there is any one fits all formula. Different things work for different people and it has to fit into your life. The only person who can truly design a diet for you – is you!

Here are a few guidelines but you do need to spend some time and make your own eating program.

Clean Eating/ Sensible Eating

• Clean eating is sensible eating – nothing too radical – nothing too strict.

• You eat lean when you eat moderately.

• Be conscious of portion sizes.

• Stop binging on starches, whites, and sugars.

• Lots of water.

• Three meals a day and 2 small snacks

• Clean food is as close to nature as possible – not over processed.

• Eat clean 90% of the time and you will lose weight.

• If you are still hungry then you need more food, if you are full then stop. If you are unsure then journal about it to get clarity – chances are that’s you are full.

• Many of us experience the phenomenon of false hunger – we need to be able to discern the real thing.

• Here is where the 4 questions come in handy.

• Is there a food you just cannot do without – you may need a detox plan to give up that substance.

• How close do you come to the ideal of clean eating?

Weight last time: 159

Weight this week: 158

Loss/gain: 1

THE 7th TOOL – A Body Buddy

Everyone needs a bit of cheerleading in their endeavors – especially when it comes to losing weight. A “body buddy” is a priceless tool in the journey of weight loss.

Your body buddy needs to be someone who is an ally not an enabler. Sometimes your best friend just cannot be your body buddy. You need someone who can be objective and yet gently celebrate your accomplishments whilst holding your hand steadfastly through your slips and falls.

Your body buddy has to be selected with utmost care. It must be someone who agrees with your goals of weight loss and is willing to gently guide you through the ups and downs of the process.

You don’t need someone who is punitive and who will diminish your sense of self. You need someone who is kind, balanced and objective.

You should try and check in with your body buddy everyday (at least initially) and then maybe weekly or as you need it.

Here are some of my favorites excerpts from this chapter:

• Sometimes when on this quest you need someone who can cheer you on, be objective and believe in us – that is a body buddy.

• A body buddy is someone who you can be candid with. This person must be selected with care. It can’t be an enabler or a punitive keeper.

• You must check in with your BB everyday – share your journal etc. This is where you must acknowledge your slips and falls.

• A body buddy loves us as we are with all our faults and fallings and yet agrees with our goal of weight loss.

• A BB helps institute a system of checks and balances.
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Weight last time: 159

Weight this week: 159

Loss/gain: 0

THE 6th TOOL – HALT

I absolutely LOVE this tool. It’s something that is so easy to remember.

HALT

This acronym stands for: don’t get too HUNGRY,ANGRY, LONELY, OR TIRED. These four conditions are the times that can lead to snack attacks and over eating of the worst kind.

This is acronym is borrowed from the 12 step AA program in order to establish abstinence. Many addictions have similar solutions and problems and HALT works just as well for overeaters as it does for alcoholics.

Examine your eating behaviors. Think of the times and reasons when you eat badly. Does HALT apply to you? If it does then use the acronym to HALT yourself from proceeding in that behavior.

I love the example of Nestor, a car salesman, who has a useful analogy. “I think of HALT as being like the message lights on a dashboard. Whenever one of the letters flickers on, I have to pay attention and get myself proper maintenance.

Have a game plan of what to do when one of the letters from HALT does flicker on. You could write, you could use the 4 questions, you could walk, call a buddy, eat a healthy snack and so on. Have a plan that works for you in that moment.

Here are some of my favorites excerpts from this chapter:

• In AA they use HALT – it applies to food too.

• Observe HALT when you are too hungry, angry, lonely or tired.

• I ate when I was angry – to stuff my feelings.

• When we are angry instead of using cake as the sedative to dull our emotions we could use the anger to spark our creativity.

• Anger when properly channeled can be a lodestone for creative endeavors.

• Creativity vs. negativity

• Whenever any thing from HALT strikes – pay attention and either walk or write it out.

THE 5th TOOL – culinary artists dates

Julia Cameron is a big advocate for an artist’s date with oneself.

What is an artist’s date?

It is a block of alone-time set aside weekly, where you commit to nurturing yourself. Essentially it is a play date that you plan for yourself – a time to just go out, experience something you love and have fun.

A culinary artists date is a wonderful food experience you could give yourself once a week. It is time set aside to truly learn to enjoy the experience of food.

Your artists date could come in the form of a trip to an interesting food market or trying out a new cuisine. Choose an outing that enchants you.

You will find when planning your artists date that the temptation to shelve this idea is great. Other things will surely take precedence over this giddiness.  It sounds so frivolous, so corny…

Try and overcome that…treat yourself.

On this constant journey of trying to abstain from food and counting everything we eat or listening to that punishing voice in our head about our weight – wouldn’t it be lovely to plan a few hours to treat yourself every week.

This culinary adventure will grow you and help you form a healthier relationship with yourself and with food.

Here are some of my favorites excerpts from this chapter:

• Most of us hate dieting but what if your diet involved culinary adventures.

• What if we focused on culinary adventure rather than sheer abstinence?

• Choose a weekly outing that enchants you – eating out, a trip to a cook’s store….

• Food is NOT the enemy – our abuse of it is.

• Many of us discover that our culinary artists dates give us a sense of well-being.

• We aren’t trapped on a diet – instead we are leaning a new expansive lifestyle.

Weight last time: 159

Weight this week: 159

Loss/gain: 0